To prepare for my impending move from Geylang to Holland Village, I intended to buy a new suitcase. At the Mustafa Centre, Singapore's 24/7 department store, they do an affordable line of Samsonite [other brands are also available], so that was of course where I singularly failed to go today. Instead, I was lazy and put off the trip.
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In the 200,000-year history of the Homo sapiens, few members of this ingenious and adaptable species can claim to have achieved what I did today.
While out doing my usual Sunday afternoon grocery shop in Paya Lebar, I stopped off at a cafe and bought a takeaway drink. I ambled around some shops and got through it. Eventually, I set about searching for a dustbin to dispose of my empty cup, and I saw one on a traffic island across the road. It was of the sort with grey and black streaks because it has the vertical metal bars and a bucket inside (like the rather attractive one here:http://img.edilportale.com/…/prodotti-158119-relde4b126d6a7…
). As I was at a pedestrian crossing already, I thought it would do nicely! So I waited dutifully for the green man, which is a national pastime here in Singapore.
As I began to cross the road, I readied myself in preparation for slam-dunking the cup into the bin in one smooth manoeuvre as I passed it on the island. I took aim, but then, just as I was about to release the cup, something extraordinary happened! When I was halfway across the road, the bin sprouted legs and started dashing off in the opposite direction, causing me to stop dead, right there in the middle of the road, and gaze in astonishment at the sight before my eyes.
The mystery was soon solved when I looked up and saw the bouncy hairdo on top of the "bin", realising then that it was no bin at all, but a woman in grey-and-black stripey trousers. She had just been standing on the traffic island, waiting for the green man with her legs together, and I almost came along and threw a drinks cup at her! (I wonder if that's a capital offence...) Fortunately, there actually was a bin on the island - the woman had obscured it by standing in front of it - a green one unmistakable for a person, so I managed to throw my cup away without attracting any glares. But it took two movements rather than one, so I failed in my mission.
How many Homo sapiens in history can say they have mistaken a pair of trousers for a dustbin? What's more, how many Homo sapiens can say that they have been mistaken for a dustbin?
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By:
The Imperial Orange,
17th January 2016
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