Day 3: The Colour Brown

Day 3 in Singapore turned out to be rather more bracing than the first two. Wednesday and Thursday had been optimistic, but the reality of being in a faraway land with different customs (and the prospect of being there for a very long time indeed) hit home on Friday

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In the weeks before I arrived here in Singapore, I trawled through several rental websites (some of which were recommended by IMRE). There was always one glaringly sinister thing that stuck out about some of the adverts: the horrible line, "No Indians, please" (or words to that effect).

Now, you might think that a country full of dozens of nationalities, where there is such a mix of cultures as there is on this island, would give discrimination a wide berth. But that says nothing of a culture that is full of contradictions. For instance, it is illegal for men to be gay, yet openly gay men are allowed to serve in the military and women can do what they like! In much the same way, the government of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong (more on him another day) will tell you that racism does not exist "officially". Of course, no one "should" discriminate against race/gender/sexuality. But that doesn't mean anyone will mind if you do! There is a dearth of anti-discrimination law, for such things are considered by the government to be too "Western".

So I kind of knew what to expect when I was looking for a house and actually went to great lengths to point out to potential landlords that I am from the UK, not India, lest there be any confusion. But I always got the feeling that the reason I was having so much trouble is because this racism is more primitive than even the adverts suggested. It is sufficient grounds for discrimination that you have an "Indian" name, be you from India or not, and so my vain phone calls and e-mails and messages went unanswered for weeks. I even signed up for WhatsApp (which, I'm told, is used by almost everyone here as the primary means of communication). That was no mean feat for a man of my limited nous, but I did it with great help. Even that didn't do me any favours!

I received a very enthusiastic e-mail on my very first day here, from a landlady near Fusionopolis. She seemed nice and said she had seen through the website that "someone" was interested in her advert. Of course, she didn't know until I responded to her e-mail that that someone was named "Hamid Khan". After her initial enthusiasm, I have not heard a peep from her, despite my repeated attempts via telephone, e-mail and WhatsApp to arrange a viewing. This has been the typical case since I arrived, with the notable exception that most landlords haven't bothered with the initial courtesy e-mail.

And I imagine that that treatment would have continued were it not for the timely intervention of a man whom I can only assume would be branded an "Indian" by some of the locals. The landlord, Fauzi, seems nice. After showing me the house, he took me out for a drink. Unfortunately, it's a very plain house in Geylang district, which is further east than I would like. But it's the only house I have yet seen, from the only landlord that has yet spoken to me. There's currently another Brit living there, too, so, if I do have to take it, then at least someone else has half a chance of understanding when I seriously talk about that mythical place called Southampton!

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By The Imperial Orange,

2nd October 2015